I've spent the most part of the past two months working on my resume, my portfolio, and the fanpage (add me by the way: http://on.fb.me/airina) - I've learned that you can not and must not depend on others in attaining whatever perfection you envision - granted the end product might not even be close to the perfection you've envisioned, but at least it remains true to whatever creative integrity you've tried to keep intact in the process.
plus it's hell lot less of a hassle.
like my love life, I have trouble keeping people on the same track. surprisingly in lesser degree, but equal in its capacity.
and so with all this shit done, I have no excuses left for not landing a better gig, other than my own inadequacies. and this scares me. this excites me. and I'm curious to see.
a little past midnight and I've finally steeled myself enough to face the work that's due tomorrow. regardless of whatever bitterness I feel towards work these days, I can never really incline myself towards compromising the effort I put in each and every one of them. every last one of them, no matter how small, is an extension of me. you could call this vanity - but when what you do is the only thing you have these days, a little upkeep I think is far from unreasonable.
I think I might be losing my edge. 4 concepts I'm not even proud of. how I gathered the stomach, the nerve to present that shit sorta repulses me. I offer no excuses for that.
I think I need a holiday.
I think I should stop reading so much philosophy.
no excuses for that, really.
No comments:
Post a Comment