Oh Peter Rabbit

I am absolutely mad about him. Mad for him. Mad at him. PLAIN MAD.

I will learn how to love a person and I will teach him and we will know.
And we'll sit around, listen to new wave or electro and smoke a lot. You will grace my skin only gently, no not because you are one, gentle that is, but because you don't evaluate physical contact decisively but do so because it is so. Yes.
And that would be bliss not the forever kind of bliss, cause forever is a long time, but the long-enough kind of bliss because the worse thing you'd want to do when in bliss is to undermine your blessings and push for luck - cause eternity isn't quantitative, not yet anyway - its value is as long as you make it and however infinite the nanosecond of you being with him is. every blink, every swallow, every heartbeat if you can catch it, every slur, every stutter, every inhalation, every time his adam's apple retracts and slides back up again, every breath I forget to take just hanging on his adam's apple retracting and sliding back up again, guessing its next movement, forgetting my next move. dance dance dance and you exhale that cloud of smoke from your nose, lips and no, go on talking, please if this is eternity I pray for immortality. cause forever is a long time to be in without me forgetting that it is, without me just watching you, without me,
without me,
without me . . . .

I forget.